Coping With Stress
What is stress?
Everyone, however young or old, feels stressed at times. We feel under pressure, worried, upset, sad, angry... or maybe a mixture of uncomfortable feelings. It is usually because things in our life are difficult, or because we are not getting on well with other people. Most of these stressful things last only a short time - then they get sorted out.
There are many ordinary situations that can make you feel stressed for a longer time. Your schoolwork can pile up, or preparing for exams can seem like it is taking forever. At school you may be teased or bullied, or have problems with teachers. At home you may have arguments with parents, brothers or sisters, or close friends.
Stress can be even worse if you are hit a lot or sexually abused, or see your parents fighting.
It can be particularly upsetting if your family is breaking up, or someone close to you is ill, or dies.
The effects of stress
This depends on how severe the stress is and how long it goes on for. It also depends a lot on the individual. We all react in different ways to stress. How you deal with it depends on your personality and on how well you have learnt to cope with things. It also depends on whether you have got someone you trust to talk to. Understanding and support from other people makes it much easier to cope with stress. Feeling alone makes it harder.
Stress can affect you physically. Your body is designed to be able to cope with stresses such as danger, illness and emergencies. Adrenaline, cortisol and other hormones help to gear your body up for 'fight or flight'. Your body is less well adapted to cope with longer-lasting pressure. This can make you feel tired, make you go off your food and mess up your sleep. You may get stomach-aches or headaches.
Stress can affect you mentally as well as physically. It is harder to keep your mind on your work and harder to solve problems. It is more difficult to cope with frustration and control your temper. You might get depressed.
Stress that goes on for a long time can be exhausting, and can even make you ill.
Coping with stress
There are several things that you can do to help yourself cope. For things that happen every day, it can be useful to think of your stress as a puzzle to be solved:-
** Work out the situations that stress you, and how you behave.
** Work out how you could behave differently in these situations, so that you feel more in control of them.
** Imagine how other people might behave if you acted differently.
** Rehearse some of these different ways of behaving. It might be a bit embarrassing, but try doing it out loud with a friend.
** Be prepared to fail the first time you try it out in real life - but be prepared to try again!
** List all the things you can think that would make things easier or less stressful - write them down on a piece of paper.
Finding the best solutions
Ask yourself:
"Do I feel comfortable about handling the situation this way? And will it get me what I want?"
For example, if you do not do your schoolwork, you may feel less stressed for a while - but you will also find it hard to get into college or to get a decent job.
Ask yourself:
"Is there another way of dealing with the problem which will work better for me than the one I usually use?"
Thinking like this can be useful even when you are faced with less common situations, like being bullied, being offered drugs, involved in the start of a fight with a friend, or being threatened on the street. For these really tricky situations, it is even more important to rehearse what you are going to say and how you are going to behave.
If it is hard to decide what to do, try sharing your ideas with your friends or family. It can help if you make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of each approach to help you decide which one to use.
If you can not cope, get help
Sometimes stress gets on top of you. Especially when the situation causing the stress goes on and on, and the problems just seem to keep building up. You can feel quite trapped, as if there is no way out and no solution to your problems. If you feel like this, it is important to get help.
People you might want to talk to could be:-
** parents, a family member or family friend.
** a close friend
** a school nurse, teacher or school counsellor
** a social worker or youth counsellor
** a priest, someone from your church or temple
** the Samaritans (tel. 0345 90 90 90)
Your family doctor or practice nurse may also be able to help. They may suggest that you see someone from your local child and adolescent mental health service - a team of professionals specially trained to work with young people. They include child and adolescent psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, psychotherapists and specialist nurses. They will respect your wishes about confidentiality and about the type of help you would like.
Get help if.....
** You feel that stress is affecting your health
** You feel so desperate that you think about stopping school, running away, taking an overdose or cutting yourself.
** You feel low, sad, tearful, or feel that life is not worth living.
** You lose your appetite and find it difficult to sleep.
** You have worries, feelings and thoughts that are hard to talk about because you feel people will not understand you or think you 'weird'. Stress may be making you hear voices telling you what to do, or make you behave strangely.
** You may be depressed. If so, it is very important that you get specialist help as soon as possible. Your doctor will be able to help.
Useful Contact Numbers
ChildLine
ChildLine
Freepost 1111
LONDON
N1 0BR
Tel. Number: 0800 11 11
Website: http://www.childline.org.uk
The Samaritans
Tel. No: 0345 90 90 90
Youth Access
19 Taylor's Yard
67 Alderbrook Road
LONDON
SW12 8AB
Tel. No: 0181 772 9900
Young Minds Parent Information Service
102 - 108 Clerkenwell Rd
LONDON
EC1M 5SA
Tel. No: 0800 018 2138
Website: http://www.youngminds.org.uk
Reference:
Mental Health and Growing up Fact Sheet 13 Royal College of Psychiatrists
Information taken from Gwent Healthcare's Information for Young People Coping with Stress. Available at:
http://www.wales.nhs.uk/sitesplus/866/opendoc/140246/&E39C2B2D-1143-E756-5CD4B584BF96EF0E