Feeling Good About Yourself

Self-esteem and confidence can go a long way during your teenage years and beyond. Unfortunately, a lot of teens struggle with self-doubt, worries about their appearance and low self-esteem. Learn what self-esteem and confidence are and how to start building them.

Self-Esteem

You may have heard the words "self-esteem" and "self-confidence" before, but do you know what they really mean? More importantly, do you have enough of them? Read on to learn more about self-esteem.

What Is Self-Esteem?
The word "esteem" has to do with how you feel about something - that is, how worthy or valuable you think it is. So, as you can guess, "self-esteem" has to do with how much you value yourself or how much you feel you're "worth." People with healthy levels of self-esteem know that they're worth a lot without being snobby or thinking they're better than other people.

Building self-esteem
Though it's impossible to legislate high self-esteem, our own self-esteem has huge implications for our life paths. Our history of self-esteem begins as children, and follows us throughout our lives; it affects all our decisions - and, like a garden, needs constant tending.

One example of self-esteem can be seen in setting out upon our careers. For a person to make a non-traditional career choice, for example, a woman becoming a commercial pilot, or to go against family desires, requires someone to have a belief in their ability to make appropriate decisions, even though significant others in their life disagree with them.

Almost everyone can identify when they're on top of the world, enjoying the benefits of high self-esteem. However, experts have theorised that high self-esteem can also act as a cushion for those times when life lets us down. Rejections, disappointments and failure are a part of daily life.

Life isn't always fair; and even our best efforts aren't always successful. But high esteem can help us get through life's downturns.

Self-esteem: the 'social vaccine'
Research into self-esteem has branded the concept a 'social vaccine,' a dimension of personality that "empowers people and inoculates them against a wide spectrum of self-defeating and socially undesirable behaviour." The California Task Force to Promote Self-esteem made the following generalisations:

** The family is a strong force in the development of self-esteem. The early years are particularly important in establishing an 'authentic and abiding self-esteem' in a person.

** High parental self-esteem is crucial to the ability to nurture high self-esteem and personal effectiveness in children.

** School climate plays an important role in the development of the self-esteem of students.

** People who hold themselves in high esteem are less likely to engage in destructive and self-destructive behaviour including child abuse, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and crime.

** Young girls who possess positive self-esteem are less likely to become pregnant as teenagers.

** High self-esteem can never be given to a person by another person or society. It must be sought, 'earned' by the individual for him or herself.

** Self-esteem may be expressed as an overall generic characteristic, for example, 'she exhibits a high self-esteem' or as a more specific behavioural attribute, such as 'he certainly has a high sense of self-esteem in tackling a difficult writing task, but he has absolutely no belief in his competence to do anything numerical' .

** Though the definition of the concept varies, commonly used terms include: security, connectedness, uniqueness, assertiveness, competence and spirituality.

Is this the way of the future - people brimming with self-esteem, ready to take on the world? In the uncertain times of a new media revolution, some are saying yes: high self-esteem workers, making independent decisions, taking risks, vigorously pursuing new ideas, and acting on their own initiative are exactly the employees needed for the 21st century.

These traits are characteristic of people with high self-esteem, of those who are confident of their abilities and gain pleasure from acting on them. Practising problem-solving with clarity, resolving conflicts, and clearly communicating your thoughts and desires isn't only good for you - it's good for those around you.